MCAS+grade+10

MCAS versus Six-Trait Analytical Model || **
 * What is a SIX?

MCAS ** || **

Six Trait ** ||  ||
 * 6 || * Rich topic/idea development


 * Careful and/or subtle organization

**See description of an MCAS 6 immediately below.** || Ideas · Exceptionally clear, focused, interesting · Main ideas stand out · Rich details, well suited to audience, purpose Organization · Order/structure move reader through text · Effective/creative beginnings/endings · Smooth transitions · Details fit where placed · Exceptionally strong sense of audience, topic, purpose · Strong sense that the topic has come alive · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Engaging, lively, honest, exciting, humorous · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Obviously aware of reader · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Effective flow and rhythm · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Sentences flow effortlessly into one another · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Extensive variation in sentence structure, beginnings · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Strong control over simple/complex sentence structure · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">No significant errors · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Easy to read · <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Little or no need for editing
 * <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 11.5pt;">Effective/rich use of language
 * <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Voice **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif';">Sentence Fluency **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Cambria','serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Conventions **

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">MCAS Grade 10. This composition received a 6. This composition is richly developed, demonstrates effective use of language, and is organized in a way that builds a focused analysis of Victor Frankenstein’s pride and selfishness. Rich details build a clear image of the flaws of Victor Frankenstein, whose personality is formed by the influence of a privileged upbringing and who models //himself after the ancients in an effort to be just like the illustrious gentlemen he feels he is equal to, if not better than.// This point is woven into the writing to achieve a coherent expression of downfall through pride: //He __must__ be the best, __must__ prove it to everyone,// and so goes on to create artificial life, but //Instead of claiming responsibility for his actions, Victor ignores his hand in everything going wrong around him.// The response notes the irony of the character’s situation: //this very pride and his selfishness to be the best makes him just like everybody else.// The conclusion presents a strong analysis: If one is cognizant of personal flaws, one must //strive to be above them,// or lose everything.
 * See example of Six Trait 6 below.** ||  ||   ||

**<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedExtraBold','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">Student sample papers **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedLight','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">are © copyrighted by their **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedExtraBold','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">respective copyright holders **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedLight','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">and are provided here for **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedExtraBold','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">non-commercial educational purposes only. ** <span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedLight','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">For more information, or for additional teaching materials, **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedExtraBold','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">please contact: **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedLight','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedExtraBold','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">E-mail **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedLight','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">stevepeha@aol.com • **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedExtraBold','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">Web **<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: 'AbadiMT-CondensedLight','sans-serif'; font-size: 8pt;">www.ttms.org Grade 10 A Perfect “Modern Classic” <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensed','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">For conservative Shakespeare lovers, the sound of a //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensedItalic','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">Romeo and Juliet //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensed','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">updated for the 1990s is enough to evoke cries of blasphemy. Admittedly, the thought of the Bard’s timeless story of two young lovers being updated for an age group that doesn’t have the attention span to read a Dr. Pepper label, much less deal with iambic pentameter, is frightening. However, director Baz Luhrmann manages to pull off an adaptation of the classic that neither waters down the brilliance of Shakespeare nor bores the average modern day audience. By casting the young and talented Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio, and sticking with the Shakespearean verse, Luhrmann creates a perfect “modern classic.” The “Two households, both alike in dignity” reside in fair Verona Beach, which represents modern-day Los Angeles. The battle between the two families is made evident by weapon-toting thugs whose cars sport “Montague” or “Capulet” license plates. A billboard examined closely advertises L’amour, not Coca-Cola. Such seemingly hokey touches are not so; rather, they add to the realism of Shakespeare’s language in a present-day setting.

<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensed','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">After one makes the easy adjustment of mentally balancing lyrical verse with the dazzling eye-candy setting and fast-paced action, //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensedItalic','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">Romeo and Juliet //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensed','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">is entirely captivating. Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio are not just drool-elicitors for both the sexes, but strong actors who have the ability to speak Shakepeare’s language and draw the viewers into the tragedy. Although spoken differently, the verse is just as striking as in the theater. The innuendo is obvious when Di- Caprio whines about being left unsatisfied in the balcony scene; Danes’ crooning about “my only love sprung from my only hate” is breathtaking. Danes does not allow DiCaprio to steal the show as a Juliet would be apt to do; she too gives a striking performance as Romeo’s passionate yet innocent desire. John Leguizamo plays perfectly the troublesome villain, Tybalt, and Harold Perrineau as Mercutio is a hilarious addition. The beauty and tragedy of the play begin at his death, as do the emotional movie-goer’s tears. One can cry all the way to the end of the film, as the lovers share a coffin in a candle-lit cathedral. Danes’ realistic sob at the realization of her lover’s death causes a snicker from the average moviegoer, and the scene is altered a bit from its original form, but the emotion-packed climax is handled well.

<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensed','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">Not everyone will appreciate this new //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensedItalic','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">Romeo and Juliet, //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Garamond-LightCondensed','serif'; font-size: 13pt;">which, with its actors and its modern look, is clearly aimed at a younger audience. However, it is clear the film is more than bait for mall rats. The new version combines gripping action with the classic original verse to create a modern, open-minded Shakespeare-lover’s dream. And even if one is not inclined to iambic pentameter, its two-hours traffic is exciting enough to keep those who only have the patience to read the Cliff Notes version from squirming in their seats.

<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">** 2009 MCAS ** <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">This composition is richly developed, demonstrates effective use of language, and is organized in a way that builds a focused analysis of Victor Frankenstein’s pride and selfishness. Rich details build a clear image of the flaws of Victor Frankenstein, whose personality is formed by the influence of a privileged upbringing and who models //himself after the ancients in an effort to be just like the illustrious gentlemen he feels he is equal to, if not better than.// This point is woven into the writing to achieve a coherent expression of downfall through pride: //He __must__ be the best, __must__ prove it to everyone,// and so goes on to create artificial life, but //Instead of claiming responsibility for his actions, Victor ignores his hand in everything going wrong around him.// The response notes the irony of the character’s situation: //this very pride and his selfishness to be the best makes him just like everybody else.// The conclusion presents a strong analysis: If one is cognizant of personal flaws, one must //strive to be above them,// or lose everything.
 * Grade 10 English Language Arts Composition Topic/Idea Development - Score Point 6 **

Click on the following link to see the composition. <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 6.5pt;">[]